This past month has been a hard month for me which has left me feeling a bit despondent regarding Gods plan for my life, His purpose for me and ever getting to “the promised land”. There have been numerous moments this month where I’ve just cried out to God for break through or for Him to just reveal the point of me being where I am, or even why I have to go through any of this. I also think being sick for most of winter has not helped with the feelings of despondency, it’s kind of just added to it. BUT in all of this God has been faithful and He hasn’t left me. He’s been the daddy God that He is and been patient with me, loving and gentle in reminding me that He is there, He has a plan that looks totally different to my ideal plan and that He brings joy.
Here’s a little summary of how God reminded me…
A week or so ago when I was super despondent and my prayer every morning was literally, “God, please get me through today” I got this amazing picture of a flower garden and bubbles floating around it. I then prayed into the picture and the verse I got to go with it was Psalm 30:5 “…Weeping may last through the night, but joy comes with the morning.”
The picture below, borrowed from Google images is what I was seeing.
It was as though God was saying, “I hear that you are struggling at the moment but break through is coming and I have so much joy for you”. Earlier in the week, (before I got this picture) at church Terri drew a picture of the word victorious surrounded by yellow rays. Before she started drawing she told me that she had the urge to draw, I then closed my eyes and saw this…
… it was pretty epic that God gave us both similar pictures. I then decided to pray into the picture a bit more and I got Lamentations 3:22 -23 “Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed for His compassion’s never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.”
Then to top it all off, because God likes to work in 3’s in my life I then saw this picture on Pinterest.
As I looked at it I literally heard God say; “Just because you can’t see how I am working it doesn’t mean that I am not!”
It’s kind of like carrots, I get so impatient when waiting for them to grow and be ready for harvest time because I have no idea what they look like, how big they are or if they are growing at all. Sometimes I get a bit impatient and try and dig around them to see what’s happening, or even harvest them a bit early because I can’t wait. Then all I end up with are really small carrots – kind of like a small spot of a carrot. These carrots never ever get to be fully grown, or even real carrots because I don’t wait for them to get there before digging them up. It’s the same with God’s plans for my life. If I decide to dig up everything because I’m doubting what He said instead of waiting for Him to finish I kind of stop the process that God has me on.
In summary of this round about post… This month has been hard and I let despondency creep into my heart but I know that God has got me. I know that He wants me to live an abundant life full of joy and to keep pushing through the “night” because He is bringing new mercies in the “morning”, as well as break through and changes. I need to be a little bit more patient and tap into Him daily to refocus instead of questioning and doubting everything He’s said. I also know that when I do tap into Him I do get filled with joy which becomes my strength to face the day.