Today has been a “go back to your in the ground” kind of day. A while a go I listened to a talk, by Christa Black, she’s one of my favourite female Christian speakers. In her talk she was saying how we need to put a stake in the ground saying who God is. I have tons about who He is the ground, “Good”, “Love”, “Daddy”, “Faithful”… the list could go on for quite a while but I think you get the point.
On Friday David told me a whole bunch of stuff that the lawyer said regarding something linked to wrapping up with my dad’s estate that was quite blow to what I thought I knew about everything. As the words came out of David’s mouth it literally felt like everything that I knew as my world came crumbling down. I then went on a bit of a spiral downward and freaked out with lots of ugly crying. During this downward spiral of crying and freaking out the only thing I could say to God was “why?” over and over and over again. I think this has been the only thing I’ve been saying since Friday and the occasional question of “what is the next step?” and trying to re-surrender control of the situation to Him once again.
I don’t think I’ve had an answer from God regarding all my questions yet, but at this evenings service at church while King of My Heart by Bethel was playing I was reminded to go back to the stake I put in the ground that says “Good”. It was literally like God pulled me into His lap, wrapped His arms around me and whispered into my ear, “Remember I am Good”. In that moment not only did I remember that God is Good, but I also remembered that He works all things for the good of those who love him, (Romans 8:28). I know that things feel a bit broken in my world at the moment but I’m standing next to my stake that God is good. I’m also going to do the only thing I can do right now is just rest in Him, trust Him and let Him guide me and David in the decisions we need to make, and allow he Him to heal to heal and restore the broken picture of my world at the moment.