I really think that some people need to remember what they were told when they were younger… “If you have anything nice to say don’t say anything at all”. I also think some people need a gentle reminder that it is rude to tell people that they have put on weight or gotten fat. It’s never okay to tell someone this – no matter how close you are to them It’s just not okay. I’m also pretty sure the person who has put on weight is fully aware of the fact that they are a few kilograms heavier, you really don’t need to remind them.
In December last year a family member told me that when I fall pregnant I will get fat. Apparently it’s in my genes. I remember getting pretty annoyed when I was told this. I also remember telling myself to forget what I was told. Thought I had let it go, but I clearly hadn’t. When I started to pick up weight, like 2kg’s and was about two months pregnant I had a mini melt down when my shorts felt a little bit tighter than before. I bottled it up for a while but eventually shared with my bestie how I was struggling with my self image and how I thought I was getting fat. She asked me what about being fat that worried me and I said it was that I would be unlovable and ugly. She spoke truth into it and told me that, that is not true. My friends and husband don’t love me because of how I look. They love me because of who I am. We then prayed into this and broke the belief in the lies that I was believing. My bestie really is amazing like this – she cuts to the owie part and then speaks truth into my life. I love and appreciate this about her.
Since then things were going well, I stopped believing the lie of getting fat. I made peace with the fact that I will put on weight while being pregnant – it’s normal, until one afternoon when I bumped into someone I know. We were chatting about being pregnant and they said to me, “it just looks like you put on a lot of weight”. I smiled and said, “I know right” and then quoted a meme I saw recently. This small comment threw me off and sent me down the dark rabbit hole of “I’m getting fat” all over again. I tried to speak truth to myself but it was really hard to believe.
I remember getting dressed the next day and I had to tell myself I am beautiful when I looked in the mirror after getting dressed. I also had to literally tell myself I am pregnant and not fat. I told David about it that morning – there’s just something about saying the lie aloud that removes the power of it. I also had tea with my girlfriends later that day and shared with them where my head was regarding the whole fat thing. I also realise the more I choose to believe the truth that I am beautiful and voice when I’m having a “fat” day it gets easier to not go down the rabbit whole.
I often have reflective thoughts on why do we believe the lie that being fat is ugly and I really think it comes down to how the media portrays beauty. As women we spend so much time striving to be thinner. A friend of mine posted on social media the other day how they’re almost back to their pre-pregnancy weight. Another friend commented the other day that they lost weight during pregnancy because they weren’t hungry. When I heard this or read the social media post my head was screaming “No – you made a life, we need to be speaking about that and not our weight gain or loss.” We need to remember that God has made us wonderfully and in His image. We need to remember that He sees us as beautiful even if we put on a few extra kilograms. I know it’s hard to believe this or even remember this – for me it’s often a daily choice. Some days I get it right and other days I go down the rabbit hole, but one one of the awesome things about God is He pulls us out of the hole and reminds us of how He sees us.