I gained a deeper understanding of submission in my marriage this morning. Submission has never been easy for me because it conjures up all these negative words like “doormat”, “push over”, “being controlled by a man” etc. I think over the last few years my understanding of submission has been changing for the better. I also think I’m understanding it more as how God intended it to be as he’s been teaching me more about how submission works and what it looks like in my own marriage.
Ephesians 5:22 says “wives submit to your husband as you do to the Lord”. What does this look like? For me it’s not saying “you’re right or you win” to David. It’s more of a “I’m going to trust you on this and follow you” Submission for me is more about allowing him to lead because I know you are listening to God and following him. I also think it’s a way of honouring David as the man God has made him and the role he has called him to in our marriage – the head of the house/leader in our marriage.
This kind of hit home a little bit deeper for me this morning….
I’ve been pretty sick since last week Thursday. On Saturday morning David gently suggested that I stay at home instead of renewing my license. I was like, “no, I’m fine” which was not really true. The rest of the weekend I was pretty much women down and even though David asked me very nicely to stay at home on Monday and told me to go back to the doctor I still never listened. When I got home from work I would say he pulled rank and said, “you’re going to the doctor tomorrow if you are not better” Me being the independent and controlling person I am put up a fight and said “no, I’ll be better”. This morning when I woke up I just rolled over and said “you’re right, I’ll go back to the doctor”. This wasn’t the “I’m wrong and you are right” thing, logic was telling me that I should actually listen to him and let him lead in this situation. He wasn’t trying to control me or force me to go the doctor and stay home, he was just loving on me and wanting the best for me. This is what God means in the follow up verse in Ephesians 5:23 where it says, husbands love your wives as you love Christ.I think knowing that David loves me and loves God and wants the best for me, as well as our marriage does help in this submission thing.
It’s a really small thing but it was a big lesson to learn in submission and how God intends it to be for me.
PS… I found this blog post, The Beauty of Biblical Submission by Christina Fox that explains what I’m understanding submission to be like a whole lot better that I can put in words. When I read it now I was like… “Ditto”!